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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?